'Kill the Impostor In Your Head' - A Reminder For Myself
"Just make dope shit" is the tagline I've been trying to embody with my life for a while. It's simple and pretty open to follow. In a time where it feels like the world around us is becoming more brutal, people seem more negative, and authenticity is being traded for instant gratification, creating seems like one of the few ways to push back and claim some control of this environment we live in (for me, at least). I firmly believe that doing something that allows you to cultivate any amount of happiness -- and inspiring others to do so in the process -- plays a significant part in eliminating these negative motions we have to wade through day by day.
For context, I dabble in a few different creative hobbies that occupy my attention span at random intervals: coding, pixel art, game dev, and playing bass. I've been finding lots of motivation and inspiration lately from the work of others and the various art and media that I engage/immerse myself in (side note: emphasis on engage; I try to avoid saying 'consuming media' because it carries this feeling of treating these things people work on as something to be used and discarded which I want to avoid). New ideas for art that come to mind or a concept for a new project to start. I get so easily moved by these things and obtain this desire to instill that same feeling in others. However, with that motivation and inspiration comes another underlying feeling that begins to creep it's way into the back of my mind: the need to be productive.
Seeing what others accomplish creates this sense that I'm wasting my time if I'm not spending it on improving at my chosen hobbies or putting more things out into the world. Any recreation or relaxation time outside of work carries nagging thoughts in the background: "I should be doing X", "I'm not making any progress", "When was the last time I finished something?". These thoughts cause me to question and doubt myself at times, wondering "Dang, can I really call myself a creative?". Almost as if I can only ever feel compelled to make something solely for the sake of being able to say that I made/am making something. Which then leads to the paralyzing dread of starting because I want to make something "good" but I'm not too confident I can do so. Some might call it imposter syndrome. But, it's because of this that it's important to ground my thoughts by frequently reminding myself (like now) of the opposite: make things just because you want to, not because you have to.
Above all else, creating is supposed to be a fun process that's meant to be enjoyed and serves as expression. Trying to hold myself to some invisible standard doesn't provide any benefit to the things I want to make and only serves to remove the authenticity from my expression that I originally claimed to seek from the world around me. No need to rush or force it. The name of the game is, and always has been, "Just make dope shit".
This was mainly a late night thoughts rambling session about some feelings I've been having lately. I'm not really the writing type (I'm usually a "make a quick post into the void" type of person) so apologies if this all reads weird. These were just thoughts I wanted to actually cement somewhere. Hopefully for anyone that ends up reading this and has similar feelings, it helps motivate you to fight those feelings off or even start that thing you've been thinking about starting. A wise woman once said:
